Wow...It's been quite a while hasn't it? I usually don't updates journals because...well let's face it. No one reads these things. But for all of you who do, I decided to give you guys a little update on what I'm up to and perhaps give a little bit of insight as to my lack of submissions.

There's something I did want to clarify. I have NOT been doing less art. Quite the opposite actually. I just have not created much digitally or that does not scan well. Although I am slower than most, I fill a sketchbook in about 3 months, so I do sketch quite vigorously. I'm not sure if it's just me, but when I try and scan these (for inking makes a sketch lose much of its texture) it looks...horrid. I do submit my paintings, but I am a horridly slow painter, so I apologize for that also.

I've been on DA for about...3-4 years and racked up about 7,000 pageviews, which compared to a lot of other artist's I've seen, is extremely minimal. But I also wanted to clarify that I am  not disappointed, nor am I driven by this number. To be brutally honest, anime artists are one in a million and only a few can master it in a way that makes the style their own. I really wanted to stray from that and develop myself as a strong artist in all areas. Anime was my first love, but I believe that it's time to let it go. Even colleges I applied to specifically asked to weed out any anime from my portfolio, which was, unfortunately, quite the bomb. It makes me wish that I had done other things in my artistic development, but better late than never right? So if there's anyone at all reading this who has not been to college yet, I would advise you to stretch your talents a bit, get to know the rest of the word

As of now, I am currently illustrating a Dr. Suess-esque book and have looked away from the digital arts for a bit and concentrate on my paintings. However, because my school is so vigorous and math/science modeled (there is literally no art program) I am forced to take it upon myself to develop as an artist. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty difficult, and often disheartening at times. Because I am a slow learner, I often have to study harder and longer to retain the same amount of information as many of the other intellectuals at my school recieve the first time. Because of this, I have to dedicate most of my time to studying to keep my mother happy so I can achieve my ultimate goal: art college. I'm not going to lie, everyday I ask myself "what the fuck am I doing for my art career" only to have silence in response. To be fair, the art field is a highly competitive one and my academics are sure to help, but I feel like I've had to put my life on hold for the last 4 years. I would literally kill to get into my dream college, but as a pessimist, I am not expecting much.

So that in a nutshell is the standpoint of my life. Sorry for the random rants and whatnot, senioritus and whatnot I hope you all are living wonderful lives and until the next entry (a couple years perhaps) Au Revoir!